an opportunity?
Monday, January 7th, 2008so as i wrote a few posts back, lately i’ve been feeling the itch to do something new (i know, i know, as if traveling asia for nearly three months wasn’t good enough …). now, there’s a semi-opportunity arising and i’m finding it hard to remain neutral about it. a couple weeks ago i felt like yes, i wanted SOME sort of change but i wasn’t sure WHAT exactly - and i was kind of ambivilent about what it was, when it happened etc.
now, as this one opportunity has arisen and i continue to take steps toward it, i’m finding it hard to remain patient. this isn’t surprising to me - it’s what i always do. i’m not a patient person, and when i “get a bee in my bonnet” (as my mom would say) about something, i want it to have happened YESTERDAY. i was - and still am - trying to ensure that doesn’t happen this time. that kind of mentality - while often motivational for me - has often led me to do things i’m less-than-thrilled about later on down the line. or things i realize i wasn’t that passionate about in the first place.
so for now, i want to remain happily dispassionate about the potential for a new opportunity (one i’ve actually looked forward to for much of my adult life, yet hadn’t seriously considered till now because i never felt the timing was right) until such a time when passion is justified and required. that doesn’t mean i want to be passive in pursuit of a dream, but rather that i don’t want to fall into the “over-eager” trap i’ve created for myself so many times before.
the good news is i’m at a time in my life where i truly would be happy either way. i’d be happy to go in this new direction, yet i’m also thrilled with the way i’m able to live my life now.
i need to remind myself of these things and stay in that “happy either way” spot until plans are cemented and decisions are made - which i know will be incredibly difficult for me!