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I was doing a freelancing shift today at my local CBS affiliate (I get called in about once every week or two, which is perfect for me - not too much work, but keeps my foot in the door should I ever decide to return to TV) and I found out one of the producers is leaving to be an EP in South Carolina. No - I don’t want his job (that thought didn’t even cross my mind until now). Instead - I’m totally jealous of him. No again - I don’t want to live anywhere in South Carolina. What I mean is that I’m jealous of his life change - and I realized that I’m starting to feel like it’s time for a change of scenery for me. Don’t get me wrong, I still love where I am and what I do and what types of opportunities my lifestyle affords me, but I’m totally getting the itch.

 Ryan and I actually have been talking about what the next step in our lives will be and I’m getting excited for whatever is next. We don’t really have a specific plan, but it’s exciting for me to think that at this time next year I could be somewhere totally different, doing something totally different. While we’d love to go to another huge city, we’ve talked about going to a more medium-sized place (still hip and fun, of course - no colorado or kansas for us, natch!). Somewhere we could keep our standard of living - or upgrade! - and be able to save and invest a sh*t ton of money. (All part of our “financially free by 3o” plan!)

The beauty for us is that, since we’re self-employed and all our clients are virtual, our incomes won’t adjust to whatever area we move to. So if we move somewhere with a lower cost of living, we’ll be making the same we are now, and spending a LOT less! Not too bad, considering that I’d say we’re living pretty comfortably even with a super-high cost of living!

Like I said, I’d ideally want to live in another really big city, but I don’t want to downgrade my lifestyle at this point - and our dream places are all more expensive than where we are now.  We decided our dream cities are the places we’d like to end up one day, after we’ve established ourselves, maybe gone to grad school, have a larger investment empire, and are financially free.

In the meantime, we’re going to Asia for three months, so I guess that will have to serve as diversion enough :-D 

ps- i found this adorable (dog friendly!) apartment in downtown Austin. I’m ready to upgrade!

i hesitated writing this for a couple reasons. for one, i guess it’ll show i’m a little sentimental and not 100% cynical, and i’m not completely ok with showing that (small) side of me. it took hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars spent on therapy for me to even admit i *have* that side. also, i’m going to quote song lyrics, and i’m not a 14 year old highschool girl. plus those lyrics are by the dixie chicks. but what the hell, i am what i am.

i’ve listened to this song more than i care to admit because it really strikes something within me. oddly, several of the songs on the dixie chicks’ new album have had that affect on me, but i’ll save those for later.

this particular one made me think of my relationship with ryan:

Busses, cars, and airplanes leaving
Burning fumes of gasoline
And everyone is running
And I come to find a refuge in the

Easy silence that you make for me
It’s okay when there’s nothing more to say to me
And the peaceful quiet you create for me
And the way you keep the world at bay for me
The way you keep the world at bay

i kind of pride myself on being the a-typical girl, and in some ways i think i am. “feelings” make me uncomfortable, i hate valentine’s day and forced sentiment, i don’t like to cuddle, i need my own time - and for the most part ryan and i do our own thing during the week, and set aside specific time on the weekends to spend together. it’s taken us awhile to figure out what works for us - not what we WANT to work for us, but what REALLY works. and it’s an evolving work in process.

but on the flip-side, i’m kind of a walking girl-cliche. i want to be taken care of. for all my show of independence, career-oriented-mentality, and woman power, i still want someone i can fall back on. i thank my dad for that, since - although i’m married and in my 20’s - i still consider myself a daddy’s girl. he was always willing to go out of his way to make life a little easier for his girls - my mom included.

i probably sound crazy, spoiled, and naive. but in some ways, i’m ok with that. and that’s why the song brings me back to my sentimental side. ryan and i have an intense, and at times volitile, relationship. part of it is immaturity at times, and part of it is just who we are as people and as a couple. but he’s my haven because he always has my back. he understands that i’m i’m crazy, spoiled and naive. he knows that i’ll work a 12 hour day to get ahead (well, ok, because i have to), but still expect him to do our taxes and deal with the finances. i know he works hard - in part because he does enjoy it - to assure we can live the quality of life we want to live - now, AND in 20 years. and really, i don’t know the half of the time and effort he invests into investments, side projects, work and more. it’s part of how he keeps the world at bay for me. it’s hard for me to verbalize how i feel about that - which is why i’ll just let the dixie chicks do it for me.

i think this credit card company is just laughing in the consumer’s face. and rightly so. the irony of the whole ad campaign dawned on ryan and i as we saw the commercial one night (while watching something online, of course). still, it took me several times of hearing it before i got it. the company’s name is chase, and at first brush you think the card’s name is something akin to visa platinum. chase freedom. on the surface i guess that’s right. but then the tagline is, “your choice, your chase.”

it’s so geniusly ironic to me that a credit card company is tellling you, in essence, to “chase freedom.” how fitting! how many people will spend their time doing just that, because of credit cards. never really being free from that balance. losing more and more of their freedom with every dollar they charge. how many americans lay awake at night wondering how they’re going to pay that next bill. how many people just resign themselves to living an unfulfilled life, wallowing in debt.

i’ve never had a credit card, and grew up a little differently, so i’ve never dealt with this, and ryan and i are living out a plan to make sure we hopefully never have to. but as i’ve gotten older i’ve realized *i’m* more of the exception in this situation. this IS the reality for most people. so it’s your choice. what will YOU chase?

i grew up pretty sheltered in a Christian/Air Force/ bubble - and looking back, i don’t think i’d really change much, eventhough it kind of turned me into “that girl:” the girl that thinks everyone’s parents encourage them to go to (a private) college and volunteer to pay. the girl that got a car soon after i turned 16 (it was “only” a VW!). the girl that knows she’ll always have her parents to rely on if that need arises. don’t be put off yet. i know that makes me sound pretty spoiled, but it really didn’t seem that way. i have extremely down-to-earth parents who did what was in their power to make my life better without, i feel like, leaving me with that pesky entitlement mentality. i really don’t know how they did it.

it may sound really “entitled” to say something like, “i didn’t realize till i was an adult that some people had to raise their OWN money to go to high school camp,” or make another such assumption. so i guess maybe it is true to a certain extent. but i don’t know that it’s really hurt me. i don’t feel entitled in the sense that i think the world should just hand me things. i’m willing to bust my ass for a good job, and prove my work ethic before i ask for a raise. willing to scrape by for a few years in order to save/invest a bunch of money that will hopefully secure our future.

if anything, i feel like the things i think i’m “entitled to” will only force me to work harder. i guess i do feel entitled to end up with a good job, living in a nice house, in the city of my chosing. able to take vacations if i want and help people out when they need it. is it bad to be raised in a house where money really isn’t an object (while still learning the value of a dollar, of course)? to look at things, experiences and investments objectively, for what they are, not in terms of how the exact dollar amount might make or break you?

what i DO think about is maybe i don’t appreciate all the things i have in my life as much as someone who, for example, “earned” their way through college. (but then, would they really appreciate either taking 6 years in school or having 100 grand in debt?) maybe they’re a little more hell bent on making something of themselves because they DON’T have something to fall back on. i look at ryan and his drive to make his financial plan work. some (like me) may call him obsessed, and there’s a lot of reasons for this - he loves finances and investment and real estate. he enjoys researching and taking on new projects. but i know a big reason he works towards these things is because he wants to create a different environment (in some ways) from the one he grew up in. in that respect he as an extra (or maybe just different?) motivation to make it work.

i also have a motivation, but my motivation is to create a SIMILAR environment to the one i grew up in. and i guess i do kind of feel entitled to that. i may sound spoiled but i don’t think i’m a brat. i’m extremely greatful to my parents for everything they’ve given me - financially, spiritually, academically, relationally - and while i may have “assumed” some things about life and finances while i was growing up, now that i’m older and wiser those assumptions have turned to complete appreciation for the life i was given.